I was reading my old diary the other day. I like doing that every once in a while. The experience of being 15 is so much more dramatic than my life now. It actually gives me warm squishy feelings inside to know that life will never be that angsty again.
So since it was SO hilarious, I thought I would share some of the high (or low depending on whether you're me now or then) points, and perhaps offer some sage advice:
* Boys: when your girlfriend's grandmother has just died, offering to let her give you a blow job? Not so much comforting. AND you may just run the risk of some not-so-accidental teeth scrapage.
* The return of Bo to Days of our Lives? NOT diary worthy. And when re-reading that 20 years later may make you wish that you could time travel back to age 13 and slap yourself across the head for being so stupid.
* Your Best Friend and boyfriend giving each other half-dressed massages in a hotel room while on a band trip? Not appropriate, and you ARE allowed to get all angry. And demand gifts and sucking up from both of them. Oh? He gets mad at you for getting annoyed with it? Dump his ass.
* Exact quote from my 17 year old self: "On Friday night Dave got drunk and was kissing Maria and grabbing her breasts and had his hand down her pants...On Thursday night Dave was telling me how much he loved me and how he'd do anything to keep me. Well this isn't exactly what I had in mind. I was thinking flowers maybe?"
I don't even have anything to say here - other than, wow, even in the midst of being cheated on by my first bf- I'm impressed that I still had a sense of humour about it.
* If your friend is involved with a guy, things get ...complicated...he begs for her back, and he then asks you out a few weeks later when things don't work out with them. Uhh maybe think about the timeline a bit. Draw it out on paper maybe. Yeah you're 19 and you're not used to male attention, but is this a good idea? Remember high school? Not touching your friends' exes or wanna-be's? Yeah- stick with that rule.
* February 6, 1995: "I am writing this so 20 years from how I'll remember exactly how I feel at this exact moment. A BROKEN HEART SUCKS! Why would people ever fall in love for a second time? Right now poems make me cry, TV shows, the thought of Valentine's Day is agony. Maybe I'll buy a bunch of hearts and sappy cards just so I can destroy them."
Thoughts: OK I have, and always will hate poetry. So wtf? Did I start reading it just to torture myself? I remember the TV show that made me cry - it was Party of Five. I certainly hope it was paper hearts that I was planning on destroying. The real thing would be messy.
Oh! Oh! I just found the entry I wrote after the first time I had sex. This deserves to have it's own post. Tomorrow...
xo
Monday, August 18, 2008
Oh the Angst! The Drama!
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12 comments:
very funny,
Bo coming back to days was and still is a big deal. LOL
You should give yourself big credit cause when Dave cheated on you, you broke up with him!!!!!
such a loser.
Im trying to figure out who was the guy who asked you out after begging your friend for forgiveness.
Nick
My mind is still reeling from the blowjob offer. I'm guessing he has since been castrated and does a regular gig at the local drag show.
I love this kind of stuff! Always a hoot to see our angst from such tender years. And yet.. some of it still holds true! :)
good times, good times. can't say giving a blow job right after my nan died would have been appropriate, agreed. how funny to read what you wrote you were younger. we can scoff at it now...sooo much drama!!!
Too funny! I was just thinking about trying to locate mine... Wonder what I might find...
Anon- the guy was Rob
Scarlet- Uh yeah- for some reason that moment is one of the few things I really remember from that relationship.
PPP- Oh I could go on for weeks just posting excerpts from the diary. I was crying from laughing so much yesterday.
Princess - SOOO much! And yet it was SOO important to us at the time.
Z- Ohh and post about it!
Rather unsurprisingly, I too got the 'blow-job' thing into my head but, I was trying to work out how a dead granny would give a BJ.
Do like your diary though my dear
*wanders back to the beach*
!!! Your life at that age was WAAAAY more exciting and dramatic than mine was. Wow.
Admirable - I was fat too lazy to write a diary, but I did write a lot of bad poetry.
Puss
I have a feeling that this should be labeled as "Girls Only" - I feel terrible knowing such things!
One thing it really does show - boys are such assholes!
You're brave to reread all these. I found an old journal, skimmed a couple of entries and then shredded the whole thing.
I started reading my old journal... it was scary!
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