Shallow?

OK, if you're morally opposed to weight loss blogs, then I suggest you mark this post as read right now. I promise to write something extremely provocative and diverting for next time.

OK, who's left?

First of all, I have to say that I have been on WW for a little over a month now, and have lost 14 pounds. Record-breaking? No. But still good.

I haven't done any kind of major cheat yet. I've dutifully tracked each point every day. I find it fortunate that I appear to have the right kind of personality for this tracking, point calculating thing. However there definitely are some things that I've found surprising about this whole process.

1. I don't really care about no chocolate/cheesecake/burgers etc. I get enough of those little 100 calorie desserts that I don't really feel deprived. I don't eat them everyday, only when I have some points left over for them.

2. What I miss? The top contender for that is cheddar cheese. Absolutely.

3. The point tracking? Is occasionally a pain in the ass. Tonight I had to do a bunch of math to convert grams into ounces then ounces into cups. Only to find that pasta really isn't worth it anyhow.

4. The Safeway "Eating Right" brand? Is awesome. It has an interesting variety and is genuinely really good for you. Love it.

5. I grocery shop ALL THE TIME. It's annoying. Probably because I'm eating at home so much. And probably because it's mostly fresh food. But still, somehow I don't feel that I'm saving money by not eating out so much, since I'm easily spending $100.00 each week on fresh food at the grocery store. Ugh.

6. It's annoying that I think about food ALL THE TIME. And not in a dreaming about cheeseburgers kind of way. But just because I have to plan out my menus so much. And I feel like this diet thing has become all-consuming. I don't know how I would do it if I wasn't a single girl living alone.

7. I also think about how I will look way too much. I am dying to lose enough that people will notice. It hasn't happened yet really. If I do this sensibly I should be at my goal weight sometime in the spring. That's a long time away.

Honestly, the worst part about all this is just how much I'm thinking about it. I really feel like I've become one of those self-obsessed people who only care about how they look. I am really not much fun to socialize with now if it involves food. Food is just such a part of how humans gather together. Dinners. Coffees. Girly lunches. Dessert. Snacks with movies. Ugh.

And do I have to do this forEVER? Am I going to be this self-involved and annoying until I die? Is it worth it?

Cause let's face it people, a lot of this is done strictly for the sake of vanity. I want to look better. I want boys to look at me. I want girls to be jealous of me. I want to be able to shop in ANY store. I don't want to look in the mirror and feel like crying anymore.

I know those aren't the reasons that an enlightened independent woman should have. I know that I should be doing it for my health or my own sense of well-being or something like that. But honestly? I don't think those reasons would be enough for me to carry on. My own health? Nope- we all gotta die sometime right?

But? Looking hot. Wearing cute little dresses. Being admired.

As long as I'm not catty about it, those aren't totally terrible reasons are they?

Are they?