Women are Crazy & Irrational, Men are Clueless and Inconsiderate.

So I was at D2's this weekend. He has a woman who is quite enamoured with him.

She phones relentlessly, stops by his place, goes crazy when she hears he's out with another woman, phones his co-workers and asks about him, and begs him to spend time with her.

I have questioned him about this relentlessly. Is he AT ALL attracted to her? Has he been 100% clear that he is not interested? He insists that no, he is not interested, and yes, he has been very clear.

OK then. So my question is this: What self-respecting woman would carry on chasing after a man who has blocked you from calling his home, has told you he's not interested, has encouraged you to get marriage counselling, and whose closest friends and family are not pleasant to you when you call?

See that's the kind of behaviour that makes us women look bad.

This situation has been going on for months now. And all I could come back to, each time he told me a new story about her antics was: where is the self-respect? Why would anyone want someone who doesn't want them?

I can appreciate the fact that sometimes persistence pays off. And being coy or shy about your feelings can lead to missed opportunities. This goes way beyond "He's Just Not That Into You." This is just stupidity and embarrassing.

I knew a person once who was going on a blind date. She consulted with us girls at work about potential excuses she could use if the date didn't go well. How would she get herself out of there, and what would she tell him the next day? The suggestions that the other girls came up with started getting more and more outlandish.

So I suggested that she just be honest. Let him know that it was lovely meeting him, however she wasn't interested in pursuing anything further, have a good night. (Or something like that).

They all looked at me like I had suddenly turned green and grew a tail, and proceeded to come up with more stupid excuses for her to use.

And it's that kind of game playing that creates some of these stupid stalker situations. People play games so much in the dating world that honesty is neither considered nor recognized. I asked D2 just how clear he was with her. Like 100% clear? He insists that he was, but I know that he is a) a coward when it comes to women and b) reluctant to hurt her feelings.

Fine. Perhaps not everyone has a gift for words. Perhaps when she bursts into tears at her rejection, it seems heartless to let her go and suggest she find someone to console her. However doing anything except being completely honest is not fair either.

Am I justifying her behaviour? Uh no. She's seven shades of crazy and I would dearly love to tell her off. And as I said? She makes the rest of us look bad. She's the reason that I'm so terrified of being perceived as "needy" and never phone men. (But that's a conversation for another time).

However, if I could send her a message, it would be this:

Honey, stand up, shake yourself off and move on. If he's not into you, why not find someone who is? Stop tainting all of woman-kind's reps by perpetuating the whole "women are crazy" rumour.

End rant.