Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Dust is part of the natural order of things...

I've lived alone for a long time now. I've essentially come to the conclusion that I'm now far too eccentric to handle any company aside from the occasional visitor.

Or perhaps I just resent the inevitable snide comments about my housekeeping abilities.
I cherish my dust bunnies, several of them have names. I throw little showers when new baby dust bunnies are born.

Anyhow, I have this friend who seems to love being a student. He's been in and out of school for as long as I've known him. His most recent degree resulted in him being at McGill for the first time this year. However it is now practically summer and he's found himself homeless.

Since I haven't had a victim/roommate in a while I offered to put him up for the summer rent-free. All he has to do is pay for his own food. I've never understood roommate-ships that share food. Why would I allow someone else to eat my caramel Haagen Daaz? I lived with a chocoholic once - every time I went to bake cookies I discovered that he had eaten all my chocolate chips in a midnight craving. (He also like to hide the phone bills on me because he frequently made 1-900 calls, but that's a story for another time).

I hope this one doesn't mind what a complete and utter girly girl I am. His room is where I store my plethora of scrapbooking supplies and magazines, as well as the pink plaque declaring me a "Princess" (in case anyone dared express doubt on the matter).

He will also have to share the room with Daphne, my Groovy girl. Daphne and I tried sharing a bedroom once - her snoring is absolutely intolerable.

I am looking forward to living with someone for the summer - it should result in lots of free dinners and manual labour.

He has promised to attempt to be relatively neat. I promised to do the same.

He's also begun to reconcile with the girl that he left here last summer. He's promised that all conjugal visits will be very quiet. I think he was concerned when I warned him that a jealous roommate is one that will suddenly start charging him rent and utilities. ( *I feel compelled to qualify this- I'd be jealous of the fact that he's getting sex and I'm not- not jealous of him and another girl)

My only concern is the "experiment" that he initiated last year. Apparently his goal was to make me so angry that it came around the other side and I ended up being laughing and happy again. Not a fun few months. Let's hope that he doesn't try that one again - it REALLY didn't work.

This is my last week of solitude for a while- I should train myself to start walking around the condo fully dressed again!

Monday, April 16, 2007

The Princess and the Spider

I found a spider on my ceiling today. Unfortunately I am short.

The spider was spotted in my vanity area. Perhaps it is a girl spider. From now on we will call her Charlotte. I didn't mean to take away her primping time- clearly doing nails on 8 legs must be time consuming. However, I have very strict rules about uninvited guests- especially when I suspect they might be using my make-up. Very unhygienic.

Now for all I know Charlotte has lived here longer than I have - however since (to my knowledge) she's never contributed to my mortgage payments, I felt comfortable asking her to leave.

However I also have a rule about murdering uninvited guests. I've never done it before, and it seems a bit harsh. After all, I don't use really expensive make-up...
So I was hoping to just calmly escort her out the door, and explain to her why it was that she had to vacate the premises.

She seemed reluctant to leave.

I finally gave up trying to talk her down from the ceiling- so I resorted to the next logical step: throwing things. First I tried a rubber elastic. Charlotte was unfazed. Then I tried a bracelet- but she simply scooted over. Then I got a brilliant idea: water! So I threw 2 glasses of water at her. Charlotte had the good sense to get out of the way. Unfortunately I did not.

It amazing how all sense of pacifism leaves you when you suddenly find yourself dripping wet. So, I went for my old stand-by. The vacuum. I had been reluctant to take this measure- mostly because I've had it pointed out to me that Charlotte could simply crawl out again. So I promise, if she manages to escape, and weaves a lovely web that says "Some Princess" in the middle I will find a way for us to co-exist peacefully.

Designed by Lena Graphics by Melany