The Core

I was reading a post today at Nat's and it got me thinking about things that define you. Just getting through life is a challenge, and the decisions that we make each moment of each day come as a result of all our cumulative experiences.

Just talking to someone new involved filtering all their lifetime of experiences and joys and pains through your experiences and joys and pains to find some kind of common ground.

On the whole, I think that people are pretty resilient and understand that everyone goes through suffering and happiness - hopefully in relatively equal measure - even better if it's tipped a bit on the happiness side.

But aside from all the minute decisions about what to wear, to not buy a bag of M & M's, to say something positive rather than snarling - there are the big things. Big decisions, and big occurrences that are taken completely out of our hands. Life changing moments if you will.

If I had to consider which moments were those for me - the list would look something like the following:

1. My mother dying when I was 11.
2. Begging to leave private school to go to public because I was bullied so badly.
3. Having lost all four grandparents by the time I was 17.
4. Choosing to break up with my Ottawa boyfriend
5. Deciding that I didn't want to go to Graduate School - yet finishing up my honours degree/thesis anyhow.
6. Choosing my last job over the other job offered to me the same day.
7. Leaving my last job.

Those are the big ones. Seven major things in my life that I would say define me. Five out of the seven were choices. The other two? Traumatic events that colour my core.

For the most part, I think I've made some good decisions. But looking at them? I can see how so much of my entire life would be altered if I had chosen otherwise. Perhaps I would be in Ottawa with kids right now. Perhaps I never would have met some of my best friends from high school and University? Perhaps I would have more credentials and a completely different job?

Perhaps.

The thing is, I didn't always know at the time that I was making a "defining" decision. How could I know at age 9 that leaving private school would still mean something at age 34? How could I know that choosing the one job would cause me therapy and crazy pills?

But it's what makes life interesting isn't it?

I'd be really curious to know about all your lists. Even just emailing me....