Thursday, May 31, 2007

The Anonymous Commenter...

I have a few friends from high school - 4 if I'm counting correctly. 2 of whom I don't see too often. One is my person, whom you hear about all the time.

The other one would be known to all of you as "The Anonymous Commenter."

Anonymous, my person and I met in the change room of Grade 10 gym class. We started talking about Dean Koontz books. Apparently we were all literate.

I never really thought that I was "cool" enough for Anonymous. She was one of the "smokers."
Now there were 2 smoking doors in our school. One for the preppy/popular kids and the "Banger" smoking doors. Anon's choice was the Banger smoking doors. She would ask our Bio teacher to go to the bathroom, and have a cigarette. It's hard to hide the smell of fresh smoke, so the teacher would frequently make comments about it either when she got back, or even before he gave her permission to go.

What's funny about Anon choosing the banger smoking doors is that she went through our entire high school career calling me a "Banger wannabe" as if it was a bad thing. Probably because I was unwilling to commit. I was a fan of the hair bands, but wasn't into the lifestyle (smoking, cutting class, hanging out at the mall food court etc.) (That would be the high school bangers' lifestyles - not the hair bands' lifestyles - I don't remember ever seeing Sebastian Bach at my mall).

Anon didn't seem to really like a lot of my friends either. I was always surprised that we managed to stay so close even to this day. Perhaps it was because I let her cheat off of me in Biology.
"No Anon, I guarantee you that eyeball juice is not the right answer...v-i-t-r-e-o-u-s f-l-u-i-d..."
Anon seemed to think that a lot of my friends were too uptight/goody-goody. I would like to state for the record that I don't think I can name a bigger goody-goody than myself. I admit that I play it up a bit- but at the core it's relatively genuine.

So our friendship IS a mystery, but still, it's there.

Anon and I went "window" shopping yesterday. Anon is much more devoted to money than I am. I made a purchase at our first stop. The sandals ARE adorable though.

While we were in London Drugs, Anon told me about her ants. Apparently she isn't a fan. I'm unclear on exactly which measures she took to get rid of them- but I can relate the trick that actually worked: Paint thinner.

Her logic was that since she hates the smell of paint thinner, she bets that the ants will too.
So down the anthill she poured. Her Mom was apalled.
Anon began to have second thoughts after she had already done the deed- what if she's now killed all the animals in the neighbourhood? What if she's suddenly going to see birds falling from the sky because she's poisoned them? I had nothing to say- I was laughing too hard.

While we were at dinner we discussed world events.

First we discussed politics: "Did you hear about the fight that Rosie had with Elizabeth on The View?" "Kinda - it had something to do with Al-Quaida or something..." "Did you hear that Donald Trump supports her?"

Then we moved on theatre and travel: "Did you see the interview with Angelina while she was in Cannes?" "No?! Where did you see that?" "Entertainment Tonight" "How do you say Cannes anyhow- do you pronounce the s?"

Then we discussed family: "Ugh, are they still showing Dani-Lynn and Howard Stern every night on ET?" "No- but do you think the father is going to pursue the lawsuit for the old guy's money?"

We are very diverse and informed individuals.

Here are some quotes from Anon in my high school yearbooks:

Grade 10:
"Hey there kiddo, have a really cool year cause you're a really cool chick." (Apparently I was cool enough!)

Excerpts from Grade 11, because she took up a whole page:
"Now in Grade 12 you will accomplish the following-
1. Get totally wasted and make love to the toilet
2. Get laid by a Scotti look alike (guitarist for Skid Row - see banger wannabe)
3. Flunk or drop out of a course"

Grade 12: (excepts again)
"Well amazing enough we did somehow remain friends"
"Rules: 1. Get laid by a hot guy

Seeing a trend there?

Things haven't changed much- she was very sorry that she missed the one time that I got completely drunk and passed out (embarassingly recently). And is still quite encouraging of my sex life.

Why wouldn't we stay friends with support like that?

I luv you Anon!


Anonymous said...

and Anon loves you princess! You crack me up! You are my Yin to my Yang. Mabey next friday I will finally see you wasted!!! I still stand by my answer in bio 300 Eye ball juice.. Thx to you I passed, I think, actually I dont remember. LOL

tfg said...

All my anonymous commenters ever do is try to sell me Cialis and then never send the order.

Glamourpuss said...

There's a shop called 'London Drugs'? Fabulous. What does it sell - genuine Hackney Skunk grown hydroponically in an abandoned council flat? LOL.


Drama Queen said...

Ah. How nice. You are lucky to have each other.

Princess of the Universe said...

I think the "London" is actually referring to London, Ontario.
And it's astonishing how few drugs are in there- I've bought furniture and CD's there- no actual drugs!

Arthur Dent said...

I have friends I've had for almost 35 years... About th same kinds of conversations.

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