Tuesday, February 05, 2008

I Love a Girl in Uniform!

I went to a private Catholic School. I am not Catholic. Nor were my parents particularly rich. However, my brother got into a lot of trouble in school and my Mom wanted something better for me.

I recently found out that my brother was bullied a lot in school and that is why he has some anger issues. I was thinking about bullying today, as "cyber-bullying" was a topic of discussion on the radio a few mornings ago.

I realized that I too had been bullied in school. To the point where I (quite melodramatically) was on my hands and knees begging my parents to send me to public school.

I claimed that I had no friends in my neighbourhood, and that taking a bus to school every day meant that all the other girls I went to school with everyday live far away.

This was only partially true. The fact was, while I was a nice, smart girl, I simply had no friends. The one token "nice girl" in the class, who didn't bully me became, by default, my best friend.

The other day, the "head bully" called me up for an interview for the event that we did this past weekend. This wasn't the first time that I had encountered her since elementary school, however I simply had no patience for her that day, so I quickly passed the call onto our event partner. The woman of course butchered his quotes and mis attributed some of my company's events to him.

The first time that I ever saw her post- Catholic school was in a summer course that I was taking in second year University. "The Age of Chaucer." I was taking it with a friend of mine, and at the time I was at my thinnest and most flirted with. It was a relatively small class and I saw her sitting alone everyday.

The thought occurred to me to tell her off. When I was 9 years old I had no friends. She bullied me into leaving an entire school. I had done nothing wrong to her other than exist, and she rallied an entire classroom of girls to making my life miserable. I felt strong and righteously indignant. I was the wronged party, and she was in a vulnerable state. She should know how it made me feel!!

Then I decided to just let it go. We were now 19, and no doubt she had grown out of her bullying phase. She was alone. And while I didn't welcome her with open arms into my little group, I decided to just let her be.

A few years later I discovered that she was dating one of my friends. I told him how I knew her, and since we weren't close his behaviour distinctly cooled towards me. I understood, thinking that I probably shouldn't have immediately launched into a diatribe about how his girlfriend used to be a total bully. Perhaps not my most shining moment.

A mutual friend of ours got engaged. I ran into this girl and my friend at a wedding social. ( I tried looking up "wedding social" on wikipedia to give anyone not from Manitoba something to link to and failed. Think of it as a fundraiser for a couple's wedding where people buy tiockets to go, spend money on alcohol, dance to outdated music and enter to win prizes. It's a lot of fun, and a purely local phenomenon). I went out of my way to chat with her and make nice.

Then she married my friend. My friend invited neither me, nor my person. He snubbed us when he saw us, and began to do the same to some of our other friends. At this points all bets were off. She was evil.

Needless to say, when she called me for the interview I couldn't handle it. I can barely stand seeing her face in the newspaper every weekend. As previously mentioned, I don't believe in the word "hate." However, if I had to pick someone - she would certainly be on my list of considerations.

Bullies suck. Young or old.


Psychgrad said...

I found this.

The girl doesn't sound worth a second of your time.

I don't actually like socials. It's ok if it's for a non-profit organization, but otherwise, I think it's just a bunch of work for the wedding party. Plus, I'm now seeing a lot of couples who have left Wpg and return home for a social. Something about that annoys me.

Often they aren't even profitable. But kulbassa and kub bread could tempt me.

Princess of the Universe said...

That's awesome- thanks PsychG! That was actually kind of an amusing explanation.

And I hear ya- it's annoying when people come back to town just to hit up us locals for our money...

I do enjoy dancing to Mony Mony and Spirit in the Sky though...

All Mod Cons said...

That chick sucks. She's in dire need of a slap in the face with a fish. Preferably a Kipper. They get good air speed, especially when you flick the wrist just prior to contact.

I'll send you a rubber Kipper to practice with.

AmyTree said...

When I look back, I was totally bullied at school, but I didn't see it that way...Now, if I saw 2 girls in the same scenario/s, I would think they needed real help. I'm going to think about this one, there might be a whole blog post in it somewhere! Thanks xx.
(Don't give that chick the time of day!!)

Glamourpuss said...

Hmmm, she sounds like she has some seriosu issues. And more front than Blackpool to ask you for an interview.


Glamourpuss said...

Oh, and I was once approached by one of the boys who bullied me horribly at school (so much so I used to truant and was eventually expelled). He was all friendly as wanted to know what I was up to these days, I looked him dead in the eye and asked him why on earth he wanted to know that now as he hadn't given a shit about me when we were at school. And I left him standing there open-mouthed. Hypocrite.

Rock Chef said...

That woman is not good enough to lick your boots. It is a shame that she has separated your friend from everyone, but at least he was warned!

I would not return to my school days for all the money in the world. Happily things seem to be a bit better in schools these days if parents are prepared to make a stand. Hm, maybe I will blog about this later.

Jen said...

This is interesting. I never really realized these things happened to kids. I was never bullied and I never bullied anyone. I didn't have time nor the heart to be mean to someone. I wasn't a perfect kid - my parents brought me up to be kind and generous to everyone no matter who they were. to this day, I appreciate that.

I also didn't take crap from anyone. I may have been quiet, but if someone got in my face, I gave it right back. I was a bit of a tomboy growing up. I was a bit like "one of the guys." This helped my popularity factor.

The one time I had a minor incident on the bus, was when an older girl started making fun of me. She was a big girl & known for hitting. I decided to say nothing. She pulled my hair and that resulted in her pulling my ribbons and rubber bands out, so by the time I got home, I looked like a crazy woman.

That's when I cried. My mom marched right over to their house with me in tow. The bullies mom made her apologize to me and I never had a problem again.

I always feel bad when I hear, read or see stories like yours. I wish I had been there, I would've been your friend and stuck up for you.

Deutlich said...

I agree wholeheartedly. I loathe bullies. Loathe. Loathe. Loathe.

Had my fair share of problems with that type of situation and I don't particularly care for the asshats that act like that.

Anonymous said...

Who is she? I will kick her as.haha
I was once bullied when I lived in Calgary, I had to change schools as well.

Only in M.B do we throw a party to raise money for a wedding, then we invite the same people to the wedding that is presentation only. I dislike socials, which reminds me that Im being dragged to one.


Princess of the Universe said...

AMC- thanks! I'll look for that in the mail!

AmyT- well, I hadn't given her much of a thought until she called me the other day. I don't think I have too much residual trauma from it. ;P

Puss- I don't think they realize how their actions affect other people. It's kind of sad really.

Chef- I hope it's better. Bullying is a huge problem.

Jen- you're so sweet. I didn't really have too hard a time of it once I left private school. I had a pretty big group of friends once I entered the "real" world.

Deut- Reading your blog, my former problems seem pretty minimal in comparison. You've turned out spectacularly!

My Dear Anon- I'll point out her column, it's in the Sat WFP. She sucks.

canadian sadie said...

Wedding social = stag & doe

The point of the stag & doe, so far as I understand it, is primarily fundraising, but also allows you to invite ALL the people that you would love to have at your reception but can't afford to feed to a big honkin' party celebrating YOU.

And it's an opportunity to play crown & anchor, buy tickets on a glass turkey (60 ouncer), and drink until you fall over--all the while listening to a cheap DJ spinning MC Hammer tunes; or, if it's a bit ritzier--that band from back in high school that never quite made it big.

That's a wedding social--Ontario style, anyway!

Princess Pointful said...

Yikes. It sounds like it was her holding a grudge that dragged this all out- what a witch!

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