State of the Union

So I'm at work right now. I am freaking out about the amount that I have to get done - and yet here I am...

It reminds me that quite a few of you lovelies have asked me how I'm doing with the relatively new job. I can give you an idea in general terms, since my new discretionary rule precludes this very topic from my blog...

So this job is a lot more work and responsibility. Some days I love it, and some days I love it a bit less. But on the whole? It's a much better place for me. I feel kind of zen about it. I know that I am working towards something that matters and I know that what I am doing is necessary. That is important to me.

Now that being said, it's a good thing that I've done a lot of independent work in my life. When I worked for a race track, I got sent to off-track locations to do my thing. I would be alone for 6 - 10 hours per day and only have time to scurry to the ladies room when there was enough time between all the races that were about to go. This could sometimes take a while.

My last job was better, I would generally have at least one, if not two other people working with me. But still, there were times when I would have these intense moments of solitude.

And now? I am it. There's my boss who's AVP of whatever and I am my own Universe (and nobody calls me Princess around here). I generally stop by her office every couple of days to ask the odd question. But on the whole? Pretty much alone. I perhaps should remove "able to work in a team environment" from my resumé.

But, my doctor has declared me "cured" from what ailed me. As I've mentioned, I'm now off the crazy pills. And I broke up with my therapist months ago. I have no doubt that I will end up in therapy again, but for now I'm coping. And I very rarely have the dry heaving in the morning like I did for the last 2 1/2 years at my other job. And self-harm? Well, I manage to push those thoughts away more easily.

So "cured"? No. Better? Yes. I imagine a lot of people feel at the very least a tiny twinge of dismay at the thought of being hit by a bus or catching a fatal disease. Unfortunately, I'm still of the camp that thinks that sounds like a release. BUT, I don't think about it all the time like I used to. So no worries my darlings, you'll still have my girliness around for a while...

On the upside of life- I am still enjoying the bus, even though the weather has changed. I have done a large portion of my Christmas shopping, and know what I'm buying for most everyone else. I bought myself some sexy knickers yesterday. Gas is down to 89.9 cents per litre. I think I'm going to see "Twilight" with K and her husband this weekend. (Go team Edward!)

Oh, and so far Pru is the only person who actually entered my contest with any wishes. Is she the winner? Contest closes at the end of the week. (I'm willing to open it up to, give me 3 wishes of ANY kind- just not all "I want world Peace-ish" I want totally selfish wishes)

Ok, back to work. I have 5 more meetings this week to prep for.

xo