Sex and Veggies

I went to a vegan potluck with K tonight. I felt like a traitor- both to the people at the party, and to myself. I eat meat. K very quietly tried to explain to me the dogma of veganism. She didn't want to get into it there in case they got violent.

Seemed kind of paradoxical to me. People who have such respect for all living things that they won't even eat eggs or honey would get violent if I didn't understand?
So I resisted the urge to say "But honey is bee puke, why can't they eat that? It's not like we, the humans, are forcing the bees into bulimia for the sake of my orange pekoe."
I was proud of my self-restraint.

On the way home K and I started talking about random things, and of course the topic of boys came up. Somehow we ended up talking about my first boyfriend when I was 17 ( "D" of course. Let's call him D the First, or DtF for short.)

I was explaining to K that DtF gave me the sex ultimatum. He calmly explained to me about 2 months into our relationship that if I didn't have sex with him soon I would be forcing him to break up with me. Oh. Well when you put it that way of course I could see how unreasonable I was being. So, being the stupid naive little girl that I was, I put out.

I can't say that I felt much about it either way. I didn't feel used or abused. I just kind of felt like I got it over with. Of course all my girlfriends asked me immediately afterwards "how was it?!"
How should I know? I had nothing to compare it to. I was just pleased that I fit in with the rest of my friends and had accomplished losing my virginity.

He was a bit of a condescending jerk now that I look back on it with a bit more perspective. He would rate my kissing in the beginning. As I was rather a novice at it, he felt that it would be useful to let me know how I was coming along. (N.b. NOT helpful. Humiliating.) He also noted on his calendar "LTC" one day. What does that mean? "Learned to cuddle." Apparently I was coming along nicely in that area too.

I was the only one of my friends in high school to have a job. I worked most weekends, so I missed a lot of parties etc. One Saturday I got a call from my Dear Anon and her friend M. Apparently M and DtF had gone 2 1/2 bases the night before. I could hear M wailing in the background "I'm so sorry Princess!!!" In the meantime DtF had made arrangements to stop by to pick something up on the way to baseball.

I was in shock when DtF arrived from this news of his infidelity. I had put out- what more could I do?
I greeted him at the door with:
"I just got a call from Anon & M."
"Yeah. I figured you would."
*blink blink*
"Well...can you assure me that something like that won't happen again?" (WTF?! Why didn't I dump him on his ass then and there- clearly there were no signs of remorse.)
"I don't know what's going to happen when I'm drunk."

Not the right answer.

Needless to say we broke up shortly thereafter. Even as young and naive as I was, I wasn't a total idiot.

Good Lord, high school boys suck. Anyhow, an amusing memory on the ride home with K that I thought I would share with you all.

xo