Starchy Oreos

So on Monday evening I officially met the lovely Miss Kyla Roma. I am constantly on a quest to find the man of my dreams Winnipeg bloggers who post about things other than their annoyance at the mayor for our lack of rapid transit (FYI - I take the bus people, and I do OK! Leave him alone!) and Kyla fit the bill.

Now I'll be honest - the other day she twittered about how she was eating homemade Oreos for breakfast. This is awesome on so many levels. A) Hello- she makes homemade oreos! B) I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds cookies to be an acceptable breakfast meal C) Once we're bffs she'll totally give me home made Oreos.

I immediately sent her an email demanding that we become best friends - and oh yeah, why don't we meet for dinner or something first so we know what each other looks like just to sign the bff contract so it's all official k?

We met at the fabulously starch-filled utopia of Nico's greek restaurant. Now for some reason she didn't bring any Oreos with her. I was momentarily confused by this until I realized...obviously she had to hold something in reserve. I mean she clearly adored me and was paranoid that I would just be meh about her. So she held onto the Oreos as a bribe in case I wasn't into seeing her again. OK. I can deal with that. (But Kyla? Next time? Oreos in hand right from go, mmmkay?)

So here's where I give you all advice on exactly what to do to impress a blogger (or anyone really) upon first meeting:

1. Totally talk up your adventures on adult websites so she has no doubt in your mind about how promiscuous you are. Cause even though she's married, she can totally use all these gems of knowledge that you've gleaned from these experiences. (Here's where I remind everyone that I haven't had sex in 6 months thank you)

2. Be sure to mention therapy/meds/being crazy several times throughout the meal, you know, in case she missed it the first time or two. Again, though she is clearly sane, it's good for her to know that she has crazy that she can call up whenever the need arises.

3. Stare at her eyelashes/eyes in a completely mesmerized and borderline creepy manner ALL evening. No, don't actually ask her about her mascara and compliment her on how awesome her eyes are, just stare. You're bff's now right - she'll somehow just intuit what the gazing is all about.

4. Whenever you're not creepily eyelash gazing, be sure to keep looking over at the table where your ex-roommate thatyourecentlytoldyoucouldn'tbefriendswithanymore is sitting. Cause when you're not staring, you should look like you're totally not into what she's saying at all.

5. When the meal is over and you walk outside and find that it's raining, be sure to ask a really involved question that can't be answered with less than 100 words. The bonding experience of simultaneously getting drenched will make you that much closer.

6. Be sure, after offering her a ride to the bus stop, to have the Village People blaring out of your car stereo. I mean the Village People are cool right? Of course she loves them too and will be delighted with how much you have in common.

7. Drop her off at a corner just far enough away from the bus stop so that she's completely soaked through by the time she gets there. Be careful to time it just right so that it begins to hail just as she's leaving your car. She'll know that it's a character-building experience and you're really trying to make her a better person.

8. Never, even until this moment, give her your last name or your phone number or anything. It's not like you need to actually exist in reality. Maybe she'll think that it was all just some sort of dream she had.

Who wants to meet me next?
xo

Family Bondy...

So I'm going to Disney World with the family in less than 3 weeks. My Dad and Step mom are paying for everyone to go and be all family-bondy.

Me? I'm thrilled. A free trip to Florida where I'm confident there's no snow. I will have just finished up with my first big event at this job, and believe me, I can already use the break.

The families will break off into little grouplets and I can hang with whichever one I choose. If one gets old, I can take off and hang with another. Such is the beauty of Disney shuttles and cell phones. All I have to pay for is the odd meal and any shopping I want to do (and really? How many Mickey ears does a girl really need?)

And the best part? Guess who I get to see when I'm down there?! Britt and Hilly have graciously agreed to meet me on the Sunday. How lucky am I? (insert excited *squee* here).

The only problem so far has been my darling brother. He's trying really hard to make the best of it, but well...he sucks at it.

First he was upset because our father wouldn't pay for his girlfriend and daughter to come too. He was all outraged that Dad seemed to differentiate between "married" and "not married" couples. Perhaps it's because we meet a new woman every year or so? And guess what? They've broken up. My Dad? Genius. My brother? Kinda clueless.

(Thank God - because he was threatening to have her and the daughter come anyways, and stay in the room with us. Hell no. Like I want to sleep with some random 9 year old).

Then he was upset because he wanted to go golfing with the other boys, but the BiL's weren't into it. So he threw a little hissy about that. Fine.

But the things that annoys me the most? The parts that actually amuse me, because they annoy me the most? Are the facts that a) he was so traumatized that when I told him that I was leaving for a few hours to meet Britt and Hilly (translation in his mind: scary people from the internet) and b) he wants to leave the resort and go to an outlet mall and for some reason I have to go with him.

Now I know that I've portrayed myself as all girly girl on here- but hanging with my brother in an outlet mall? I think I'd rather slit my wrists. Apparently though, because I'm the other "single" one on this trip, it means I'm his little beck and call girl. Seriously? In what kind of bizarro world is the brother forcing the sister to go shopping?

The main issue with my brother is that he feels that he's being forced to go on a vacation that is not one of his choosing. His happy vacation is on a resort in Mexico. He thinks that since he doesn't have kids, Disney is a ridiculous place for him to go. (What's my excuse exactly?)

Me? I have NO interest in Mexico. I don't think they have enough Mayan ruins and day trips to keep me amused. Disney isn't my first choice, but I'm cool with it. Had I unlimited funds and time? Off to Europe I would go. First to England/Ireland/Scotland, then to Russia and Norway and Turkey, then off to France and Italy....

So this is my poll to you, my darling readers - what would be your preferred vacay: a hot resort sitting on a beach having drinks served to you OR less hot, lots of activity, touring around, seeing things, etc etc.

Ahh to be rich. Le sigh.