This Post Went in a Completely Different Direction Than Where I Planned...

I always thought that eccentricity was something that happened when you got old- but apparently it can strike at any age. Although perhaps "eccentric" isn't really the word I'm looking for. It might be "hermit-like" or even "reclusive." Or even worse "intolerant."

It seems that some people really need to be constantly exposed to people in order to get along with them. The more certain people spend time alone, they become increasingly impatient with the foibles of others. It's as if they've forgotten how to co-exist with humanity.

Freud wrote a book about the creation of "civilizations." I don't remember all of it but it seems to me that it was very profound. It had to do with the realization that man had that to live alone would create selfishness and chaos. (I think it also had to do with the sons murdering the fathers in order to have control over the women - but that's just an amusing detail).

You see people who are alone too much DO become selfish. And reclusive. And intolerant. Anything done in extreme isn't healthy. So when one works alone, lives alone, spends a lot of their spare time alone...well, that person might consider themselves admirably independent but in actual fact, they are nurturing a dangerous trait. A trait that leads to solitude, loneliness and resentfulness.

This is something that I thought a lot about while on my family vacay last week. During all the times I would wander off...alone. When I was on the shuttle going back to the hotel craving some "me time." While I was waiting for a movie to start after I lunched with Britt and Hilly rather than going back to the hotel where my family would eventually appear. (Loved Downtown Disney btw- movie theatres, shopping, restaurants etc etc).

I could easily dismiss this behaviour as the pain that anyone would go through when finding themselves thrust into a group of 11 other people for 7 days. In fact I could spin this so it's perfectly understandable. I mean after a few days, I stopped hating the sound of everyone's voices. I stopped trying so hard to get my brother to go off with the step family.

But that's just a detail. I like being alone. For the most part, I've worked either alone, or with one other person my whole career. My last job? I didn't mind it when my boss was on leave- though it meant more work for me. This job? I can go an entire day without having the need to exchange words with anyone around me. And frequently I don't.

This past weekend? I got back from my trip on Friday at midnight. I didn't call anyone on Saturday or Sunday. And not all the laundry, unpacking and finishing up Flat Jess projects in the world can really justify that. I had calls to return. I had people I could visit. But I chose not to.

My birthday a couple of weeks ago? I didn't plan anything. I had friends call me and offer to take me out/come over/feed me...but instead I chose to stay home - with the exception of an hour out to have a drink with My Dear Anon.

It's becoming increasingly apparent that this "independence" thing is blossoming into something worse than that. I find myself simultaneously losing patience with everyone around me, and feeling unworthy to be in their presence. The longer I go being single, gaining weight, doing nothing but work - the more I feel like I don't deserve better. So I start to retreat into my shell. And the thought of reaching out to people just seems so hard sometimes.

So yeah, I'm thinking I can go two ways with this: either start to make a massive effort into being with people or just stop trying altogether. People have lives. They'd give up on me after a while. Cause I can see where this is heading - and the more I avoid humanity, the harder it's going to be each time I have no choice but to be a part of it...

It's Not Easy Being a (Disney) Princess!

I could totally write the longest re-cap post ever about my week in Disney World, but I suspect that all of you would be hitting "mark as read" within the first paragraph, so I'll spare you. How about a few highlights instead (and then we'll never speak of it again).

* Sunscreen? For the sun. And the sun? A LOT more potent down there. And guess what? You have to put it on more than once a day. And no you can't stop wearing it once you've already been burnt, cause the logic of "well I already got being burnt over with on Day ONE" isn't logical. The sun? Still there. Yes, it can get worse.

*Yes, the word "magical" does get old after the first day. But remember you're with children and don't be so cranky about it. It's part of the marketing plan, deal with it.

* Just cause you're a loser and would cheerfully go on the "It's a Small World" ride 20 times doesn't mean everyone else wants to. Don't pout.

* Britt and Hilly? Lovely and warm and gorgeous. You knew this about them. So when you send texts to people saying "what if they hate me?" Expect to get responses like: "well they just twittered where they're meeting you, so at least you know they won't be murdering you." (Thanks Becky!) **And Hilly? While perfectly sweet and kind in person, assures me that if I knew her better I would see the full-on snark (Can't wait until next time!) Britt? A rock star with asking questions to make people comfortable, and genuinely does like working with Adam. (In case you were wondering)

*Roller-coasters? Not your thing. At all. Like ever. Shocking what a baby suck you are. You went on Space Mountain and loved it when you were 17. How could you have to close your eyes for half the ride this time??? And for the record? Closing your eyes in a pitch black roller coaster? Not so helpful. Like at all. Ever.

*Must write a letter to Disney people. Do they actually train animals to just wander around the resort? That's taking idyllic to a whole new level. The number and variety of tame-ish birds that walked right up to your door is astonishing.

* The environment in Florida overall? Perfect. And though you may feel slightly traitorous to Manitoba for saying this - it's true. Allergy attacks? Non-existent. Sitting outside? Pleasant. Breezes. NO mosquitoes. Unheard of in this province.*When you're exhausted after one extended plane ride and have less than an hour to get to the appropriate gate and leave for your connecting flight? Maybe reconsider after wolfing down Mcdonald's in 2 minutes. Your last flight? Scary turbulent? Remember the roller coaster revelation? Some of us don't have the strongest stomach. This may result in you alternatingly thanking God all through the next flight that Winnipeg and Minneapolis are only an hour apart and cursing your stomach for not just throwing up and getting it over with already. Longest. 59 minutes. Ever.

* One week with only 10 minutes to check the internet once was bearable. But marginally. Must purchase plaptop.

* Outlet malls? Lovely for a very brief time. And only when they have a Skechers store. Too bad it's -3 here. Not quite sandals weather yet. Soon I'll get to show off my latest purchase.


And scene.

Thanks so much to my guest bloggers for holding down the fort while I was away. I loved ALL your posts.

xo

Disney Princesses and the Meaning of Life. Sort of.

Faithful subjects of the Princess,



The role of Your Princess will be shabbily substituted by me, Faiqa from Native-Born.

I’m something of a lurker on this blog, so regular readers are wondering... what is a Faiqa?

A Faiqa is an awesome pregnant woman who lives in Florida and blew the chance to meet our lovely princess because I was busy lounging on a beach near Tampa Bay.

Wait. Is that really your name?

It really is. It's pronounced Fie-Kah. Say it with me, Fie. Kah.

But, I digress.

Without further ado, fellow royal subjects, I present to you... a guest post. By Faiqa.

Really? That's really your name?

Shut. Up. We've covered this, haven't we?


When the Princess is at Disney and you’ve had to watch Sleeping Beauty 252,789 times in the past week, you, too, will arrive at the inevitable conclusion that you must do your guest post on Disney Princesses.

Get it? Disney? Princess? See. Inevitable.

And bear in mind that as our dear princess wanders aimlessly through the concrete desert of the Magic Kingdom paying $16.00 for three sips of water and a french fry, that she, too, is at this moment, a Disney Princess.



Because with Disney?

Resistance is futile.

...

Everything I Ever Needed to Know About Being a Princess I Learned From Disney

• Princesses should wise up and understand that their stepmothers might actually be nice if maybe you complimented them once in a while, or at the very least, noticed that they were upset. Or, sheesh, you could just ask. (Snow White)
  

• Princesses should not accept gifts from strangers. Especially if the gifts are apples. Everyone knows that the only gift you’re supposed to accept from strangers are diamonds. Or European cars. (Snow White)
  

• Princes like girls who play hard to get. (All)

• A princess could get a job to buy a dress, but, really, she should cry until a fairy just gives her one. With shoes. And a car. (Cinderella)
  

• No matter how much you can't stand that witch, just invite her to the party. Better to grin and bear her crap for a couple of hours than have to endure her shenanigans for the next thousand years. (Sleeping Beauty)
  

• Being rich doesn’t mean you’re happy. And? Poor boys are easier to boss around than princes. (Jasmine)
  

• A little bit of midriff will go a long way as far as getting your man in the Middle East. (Jasmine)

• Real princesses always thread, never wax. (Princess of the Universe)
  

• And I quote, "Being an adult equals work, in every sense of the word." (Princess of the Universe)
  

• Whatever life you're leading, it's your life. Just live it. And own it. Happily. (Princess of the Universe)

So. As I see it, it's our very own Princess of the Universe, for the win!!

She is so much more... more than those other silly princesses who, granted, have the severe disadvantage of being imaginary. And of being created by a misogynist machine that condemns them to play out the sad little fantasies of repressed old men.

Cough. Anyway.

Our Princess?

Best. Disney. Princess. Ever.

Regards,

Faiqa.

Yes.

That really is my name.

Oh. My. God.

Flat Friends - a guest post from AmyTree

Well hello there lovely people! Whilst our dear Princess is gallivanting around the Magic Kingdom she has kindly invited me to write a guest post for her. 

There is a project that kids in school get to do these days that I never did, and I am green with envy. It is based around the book Flat Stanley, by Jeff Brown. As the story goes, young Stanley Lambchop is (rather alarmingly) squashed flat by a falling bulletin board and makes the most of his odd new state by mailing himself to friends in an envelope. The school project ("The Official Flat Stanley Project") encourages children to make flat, paper-doll versions of themselves and send them to friends elsewhere in the world - who are in turn asked to keep a 'diary' and record the dolls adventures before returning them to the Real child - thus having a vicarious adventure through the simulacrum.

Now, this is deeply cool, to a crafty person like me! Last summer I had the pleasure of meeting Flat Mo, the wafer-thin version of my darling LoopdiLou's eldest daughter. I dutifully took Mo on a Great British Tour, photographing her with various local tourist attractions including a fish & chip shop, a red phone box, and Old Mother Hubbard's House. She was a novel and charming house guest. 

Flat Mo & Post Box, Summer 2008

I got so involved (and, one might say, competitive) in the project that I even made Flat versions of The Dude and myself to send back to Real Mo. I hear they enjoy camping but aren't too keen on the water. 

Flat Dude and Flat Amy, sitting perhaps a little too near the campfire...

But the story does not end there, because Mo has a little sister!! And now The Princess and I have a mutual friend. I would like to introduce you to Flat Jess:

Flat Jess - March 2009

Here she is, posing prettily outside my building. Jess is quite the tourist. Following a series of small, child-friendly and photogenic adventures I have posted Jess and her diary to Canada to visit The Princess (who was initially, I suspect, rather confused about why someone wanted to send her a paper doll...) who is taking Jess (lucky, lucky Jess) to Disneyland! 

Bu Jess didn't have to travel alone... Because I just can't let a craft project pass through my hands without trying to one-up myself she went with her new best friends - Flat Dolly and Flat Beagle! 

 

Dolly & Beagle were thrilled to meet their new friend Jess... 

You know you wish you had a small paper-manga version of yourself complete with tiny, velcro-attached accessories... 

I hope that The Princess enjoys this project as much as I have. It certainly is a clever way to get total strangers to do a child's homework for them! 

xxxx

Porn and The Princess

Good day all,

Nat here. I'm pinch hitting for Princess who is off having fun in the sun, and having blogger lunches, while her family wonder if she's hooking up with serial killers. I know, I get that too. The Internet is all porn and people looking to lure you to your death. They know they heard from a friend who heard it from a friend (who heard from another you'd been messing around?) that the Internet is a really dangerous place.

But we know that's not true -- the Internet is all about information. Important information, things it is critical for us all to know, massive amounts of facts right there at my finger tips.

For instance, on a lonely night last November, I stumbled upon Supernatural. I call it horror light, about two guys fighting evil of the demonic kind. But in order to gain a broader appreciation of the show, I needed to do a bit research on the story arc and the mythology. Just to get the story to that point, you understand. Because, you see it's all about fighting evil and I can totally get behind that. Not only did the Internet provide me with back episode, it also provided me with important information. For instance:

Here, you see Jensen Ackles who plays Dean Winchester sitting and looking at knowingly... to the untrained observer, he might also be described as the kind of man who could do my bidding. But I know here, he is looking and thinking about demons ... looking is VERY important to the plot. Here is making a plan or just sitting, sitting is also important for...


... muscle, I mean character development. This is from Episode about thing that eats people, the story arc in this episode should have called for Jensen to take his shirt off. But it's taken a lot of research to come to this conclusion. It's not for the weak. (Speaking of arcs, I also learned that there are not longer storylines on television shows, we now refer to them as arcs.)

Other information, just to get up to speed, I learned that the car in Supernatural is a 1967 Chevy Impala (and that at one point there were five of them). And that in one episode, you get to see Jensen's butt in the back seat. Unfortunately, he's doing some skinny anti-demon. But it really shows off the car in an interesting way. I'm about cars. (I drive a red Honda Civic. I'm not sure what year -- but it's got an iPod jack.) Luckily, the correct decision was made that Jensen had to be a little more than toplesss...


... I'm sure Princess would back me up this one too. Do you remember that season of Angel where he kept having dream sequences by the pool without his shirt on? I think Supernatural needs to explore some sort of half naked story line. I think I'm going to write to the producers right now.