Tuesday, December 09, 2008

This May Be TMI for Some of You...

So this past Saturday? I got threaded.

(You know what makes me mad? The fact that I have to do that- I mean women are supposed to be all smooth and silky, so why? For the love of Goddess, why?)

Ahem. Anyhow, I got threaded for the first time. Cause I'm a delicate flower, and apparently waxing just causes me to break out in pink rashy puffed up itchiness. Annoying.

So I got a coupon for a free threading. Awesome. No product= no pink rashy puffed up itchiness right?

So off I go. My eyebrows were ready. My wallet was doing a little dance because I was getting this for free. Bring it on!

So first of all? It hurts. Like a lot. Not even like a lot. Just really - it hurts a LOT. I mean waxing, that's not fun, but it's brief. So in like a millisecond it's over. Threading? Not to much. But whatev. After the initial shock I'm all "I am Princess, hear me roar! I can totally do this."

Then? There's apparently audience participation required. The woman has the bloody thread in her teeth and is using her hands to tear out each little individual hair at a time, and is clearly positioning the thread very specifically so as to maximize the pain. But I still have to stretch out the skin above and below the eyebrow. Fine lady. I'll help you cause me more excruciating pain. (Did I mention that it hurts? Yeah. It does.)

Next? When it's all over? "You want upper lip done too?"
Le sigh. Clearly since she's asking, it needs to be done right? "Yeah OK" (I mean why not, it's been super fun so far, right?)

More audience participation! I have to shove my tongue up below the lip so as to stretch out the skin again. She would occasionally tap a place, and apparently that was her not-so-subtle way of letting me know where the pain was coming next. (Oh yeah, and where my tongue should be) (Resisting urge to make predictably dirty tongue joke here).

And THEN? She keeps going...lower lip (wha?) chin...(seriously?)

"Next time, you schedule whole face."

*blink blink"

"OK" (as I try hard not to burst into tears, and suddenly have visions of photos of me posted around the city under the heading "See Princess, the Dog-faced Girl!")

I go out into the main area, and the owner asks me how it all went. "It hurt!" She sighs softly and agrees that it does.
"And apparently I need to do the whole face next time!"
By this time, I've recovered my sense of humour and am totally writing this post in my head.

"Did she do more than just your brows?"
"Uh yes, apparently I needed it. Whole face!"

She sighed softly again and told me how she's had talks with her about how it's not necessary to upsell, but the woman sees hair and just needs to remove it...
And then told me that the same thing happened in the interview - it was more of an audition with the woman waxing her. She told me that she had tears streaming down her face as the woman insisted in doing her lip too and how much it hurt.

First of all? Wimp. I didn't cry (on the outside anyways).
And second? Wow, I hope she didn't have too many people to interview that week. Cause the face is actually less painful than some other places...

But actually? I still think I kind of liked the little masochist. I didn't have any pink rashy puffed up itchiness afterwards. And at least she's gonna be honest with you.

Yeah, I'll be going back.


Ali said...

I so want to try threading!!! Maybe we could do it at home? I'm sure I've got some mint flavoured floss around here somewhere, which besides smelling nice, might be able to grab more than one hair at a time...

...bwahahaha!! Who am I kidding? We'd totally end up in tears, with bald patches all over our eyebrows - soooo not the hot look we'd be after :)

Jen said...

I've never had threading, but I have heard countless times that it HURTS. A lot.

I'm not sure I'm game quite yet. . . . . I'm not as big and brave as you are. For serious.

the frog princess said...

This reminds me of my manicure lady, who would always, without fail, ask "you want eyebrow?" when I'd come in to get my nails done. After months of refusing I finally said "Why? I barely *have* eyebrows?" and she responded "no, no, just for shape..."

I finally let her do it, and you know what? I haven't plucked since. I love my eyebrow waxing. Love love love!

I would, however, draw the line if she offered to do my whole face.


Chief Rock Chef said...


If the police did that while questioning people it would be called TORTURE!

But I guess women are like that. How else would anyone have more than one kid?

Avitable said...

I've had threading done - my eyebrows and all around my eyes and upper cheeks. I had tears streaming down my face - it fucking hurt! I didn't have to help, though. The person doing it was able to do it without my assistance.

That was my one and only time. I've stuck to waxing since then.

Alice said...

Wow... never heard of it.. waxing I can do, even (clearing my throat) down there. That sounds too painful

Sheila (Charm School Reject) said...

I wanted to get threading done - before I read this review at least.

At our mall they have the threading in an open kiosk so everyone can see what they are doing to you. No one ever looked like they were in pan though....

Anonymous said...

Threading really does hurt like a bitch! I prefer it because I think I get a more natural look with threading but still, I'd rather go see my dentist, thanks.

I'm kind of an old fashion girl who plucks and waxes most of the time though.

Princess of the Universe said...

Ali- I think we should make a video post out of it!

Jen- I'm not sure it really hurts more than waxing- it just isn't as fast...

Froggy- I miss waxing...but the whole puffiness thing...

Chief- I think we should suggest that to police interrogators. They'd get confessions way faster (from the men anyhow!)

Av- oops - no offense on the whole "wimp" thing :P

Alice- "down there" is the most painful experience I have ever had. Will NOT be repeating.

Sheila- Hmmm- maybe women are tougher in Chicago...or they fake it better.

Hilly- Maybe I can bring you and Britt up here to do my brows for me??


Jess said...

Eyebrow threading hurt me a fair amount the first time, but the second time it was much easier and also quicker. The part I hate is how it makes my eyes water.

Miss Britt said...

I'd rather be red.

Princess of the Universe said...

Jess- Hmmm... perhaps it gets better then?

Britt- don't forget itchy puffy and rashy! It was a bad scene...


Sheila said...

I guess I should have also included the fact that I don't pluck or wax my eyebrows. It hurts too damned much!

[There goes that whole "tougher" theory.]

Crys said...

i had no idea threading was so hideous. good lord.

i get rashes too, from the wax. which is unfortunate because i'd wax my entire body if i could, because then i'd be shiny

Nance said...

Holy crap. What I want is a follow-up later to let us know how long it lasts.

Nat said...

OH god, I went to an atrocious hair dresser, where the lady was 'threading in the sink behind me. Looks freaking painful.

I am not girly enough to do that... fuck it, it's just hair. LOL.

Princess Pointful said...

You are a better woman than I. I couldn't do the slooooow thing like that. I'm glad you had a conversation with the owner, though, to know that you are in fact not hairy faced. Though I could have told you that!!

Chief Rock Chef said...

True - on the other hand the word would go around - if you get arrested you can get threaded for FREE!

SexyWhispers said...

Ok....two things in my mind that do not go together....thread and hair removal! Never heard of that, but I will not be part of the game. Nope...sitting this one out on the sidelines!!!~~Dee

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