Sunday, September 21, 2008

I've Lost My Mojo...

K and I got together today. It was lovely.

We shopped and lunched and giggled. We told secrets and talked about Astrology. She bought her husband a birthday present, and graciously let me wrap it for her.

I told her about an awkward situation I had at work this week.
I asked a guy in my office if he was married. He said no, then quickly mentioned that he had a girlfriend.

Although I do appreciate him both aesthetically and for his quirkiness, I wasn't flirting. It just fit into the conversation (I will be kind and spare you from a word-for-word recital of the whole thing, but trust me, it was relevant).

As I was sighing at K for how silly I thought it was that he felt the need to qualify his status to me, I acknowledged that I may be over-reacting. I admit that I don't "get" men.

We discussed my single-ness (singledom?), and explored the reasons why it might be.

We decided the fact that I need to lose a few pounds has nothing to do with it. We concluded that it has to do with confidence. You see I have none. I don't know where it went, but somehow it got lost somewhere in my mid-twenties. And because of this I've lost the ability to flirt and be coy and engaging.

I'm good at clever and quirky. I'm good at smart and sarcastic. But cute and girly? You would think I would be all over that.

Not so much.

Men: I don't get you. I don't know how to relate to you. I don't know what you want. I don't know what to do with you.

Do you really think about sex that much?
Do you really want women to approach you?
Do you want someone independent or someone who is vulnerable and needs you to take care of them?

See, the way I see it? You guys have no clue.

And this little Princess? Doesn't want to take the time out from dwelling on her own demons to figure out what's going on in your heads.

So yeah. I'm gonna be a crazy cat lady.

I do kind of miss sex though. Have I mentioned that like a zillion times on here already?
Yeah, I thought so.



Backpacker momma said...

Wish I had a magic potion but I've been married too long to remember what flirting is!! Hee hee.

Jen said...

Even the husband has his own abyss of which I barely can touch - & sometimes. . . nor do I want to.

Sorry, Prin. I'm of absolutely no help. Never was able to figure out the magic solution. I just got supremely lucky with the husband.

Dee said...

My Princess--There is a secret formula to flirting. A generous helping of confidence mixed with a strong amount of backbone... shake in some honesty and sprinkle a few open ended questions. Men will follow that. See...I THINK that women tend to get too deep with the male mind all at once. They are thinking that your boobs look great in that shirt and would look even better out of that shirt...and we are thinking that our ass looks big or about "long-term relationships." Men work off of the positive and women off of the negative. Here is a football metaphor for you. No matter how many times their team looses, men will stay loyal to their favorite team every time. WHY? He knows the plays, he anticipates the win, and loves the confidence of the coach. Get in there girl...cats are not a substitute for a man in your bed! Dont make me fly to Canada!! ~~Dee

Anonymous said...

I use to know how to flirt. I don't anymore either. I lost the talent in my early 30's

my best friends husband, who I have known since I was 22 (I'm 37) told me I scare guys because I know what I want and don't deal w/ bullshit. Well, if that scares a guy, then I don't want to deal with him

Chief Rock Chef said...

Do you really think about sex that much?

*** At least that much!

Do you really want women to approach you?

*** Oh yes!

Do you want someone independent or someone who is vulnerable and needs you to take care of them?

*** That will vary from guy to guy, but don't try to be what you're not. The right guy will find intelligent and sarcastic a mega turn-on - my wife is both :-)

See, the way I see it? You guys have no clue.

*** How true! Guys are useless and need a good woman to sort them out!

BTW I agree with the weight thing - a lot of guys prefer a girl with a few curves. Happy hunting!

Shana-Marie said...

Confidence is the key. I don't think that cute and girly = flirtatious. I'm anything but (I'd fall more into the smart and sarcastic camp myself) and somehow I managed to parlay it into being flirtatious... though that was almost 10 years ago... and I was a slight bit cuter then...

ugh... confidence. Love yourself, and no one would question why they wouldn't love you.

Anonymous said...

I think you waste way to much time on why you dont have a B.F.
Stop streesin about it. It will happen probably when you stop thinking about it.

The crazy cat lady title has already been taken by me, since I have cats and you dont.
How about crazy wrapping paper lady?

Princess of the Universe said...

BPM- you should still flirt with your husband!

Jen- from what you've written, yes, he sounds fab!

Dee- I'm not really a cat person anyhow.

Libra- yeah, I don't think I could fake needy and vulnerable anyhow.

Chief- you're wife is very lucky to have you!

Anon- actually I really don't dwell on it that much. Thanks for trying to make me feel crappy though.

James said...

Hi Princess,

I hate to see you beating yourself up about this.
I felt like I should be able to answer your questions directed at men but to be honest I have been in a relationship so long I cannot remember what it was like to be a single guy.

I do know that I was never any good at flirting. It always seemed that females were being deliberately mean to me. If a girl even gave me the tiniest hint I was a human being I would fall head over heels for her. Trouble is that would frighten her so much I would never see her again. Amazing that I managed to get married twice.

And yes we do think about sex an awful lot. When I was single (both times) I always worried when I had sex that that might be the last ever time...

This has probably been no help at all.
But you are funny so you have that going for you.

Princess of the Universe said...

James- you're sweet. I'm not really beating myself up so much- but I do wonder where my confidence went. Not just in relation to dating- just life in general.

Ali said...

I think about sex alot. Like, aLOT.

I think I'm really a guy in a chick's body :)

Want to practice flirting on me?

MissE said...

S'not just you on the not getting men, Princess. When they're my mates I'm fine, get along with them like a house on fire. The moment it's a guy I'm attracted to... I don't have a clue what to do. Plus I lack anything even vaguely resembling confidence.

So... shall we start a crazy cat lady club? I reckon we could aim for the one of "The Simpsons". You know, the one who is able to just produce cats from some weird rip in space so she can throw them at people while speaking incoherently.

Glamourpuss said...

Don't worry; crazy cat lady will be in good company, (me in case I hadn't made that clear).


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