Monday, September 07, 2009

Cosmic

Being bloggers, we may of course find it tragic when so many interesting things happen in our life, yet discretion demands that we share none of it.

I promised a summary of my meeting with internet guy.
I sent and received emails that were truly life-changing this week.

And yet...

All I can say about internet guy is that I am in a state of irritated confusion. Irritated because I know what I would like to do and fairness demands that I do otherwise. Confusion because some of his behaviour has puzzled me exceedingly - and not in a charming way. It will all lead to the same inevitable conclusion- of that I am certain, but circumstances demand that such a conclusion must be delayed.

Regarding the emails from the week? All I can say is that I am in fact finally "over it." And a hundred pounds of metaphoric weight have been lifted from me. I am finally free from all of it. My last job is now truly a thing of the past - a place where I both grew and was stunted, where I learned about myself and how to do a job, where I made friends and lost them. I am done. Let's hope the dreams are as well.

I am truly beginning a new era in my life. I can now see that for the past 7 years I have been in some sort of purgatory, and I'm finally allowing myself to see the light. Allowing myself the freedom to move on. I can look back with love, acceptance and resignation - but it no longer has to own me.

I made a point this weekend of seeing my very best friends - My Dear Anon, K and My person. A trifecta of perfection in the course of a couple of days. It is not always that a person can know that they have three true friends in life. People that really know you and accept you and love you for all your parts. With them, I have had the strength to get through these last few years of turmoil- and they will continue to give me wings in this next chapter.

It's odd - the way the universe comes together sometimes. I've had a bizarre week, and it all happened at once - like it was meant to be. Like it just may be that there is some other kind of cosmic force out there that plans these things. I've seen it happen so often in my own life that it is almost enough to make me believe in a higher power. God? Maybe? Fate? More likely. Some sort of universal construct of light and energy that has the ability to make things happen when they are meant to.

I'm aware this post said a lot of nothing to those who aren't immediately around me - but I feel like my life is now different. And I have been fundamentally changed.

I truly look forward to the future now and expect beautiful glittery things to happen. I can't wait.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Me to I cant wait
NIck

Rock Chef said...

I think I sort of followed a lot of that!

I am really happy to see that you are moving on now - can't wait to see what happens next!

Luv ya, Princess!

Hilly said...

Wow, good think I am so good at "cryptic" huh? I totally sorta kinda got it, though. :)

Kyla Roma said...

I'm so glad that you've come to a place where you have more peace & can move forward- it's a battle to do so, but I'm glad that you're there!

 
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