Filling In

Hi, Suze here. When the Princess asked if anyone would be willing to write a guest post during September, I jumped at the chance. I mean who doesn't want to write for royalty? Plus I really like her blog and I'm hoping (fingers crossed) that she makes me like a Duchess or Knight or something. She left me the keys to the castle. At first, I was a little afraid of getting lost. But she said, "First castle on the left" so that's where I went. I shouldn't have been afraid of getting lost. As I got closer to her castle, I noticed the signs everywhere.

Her loyal peeps really like her! I knew at once, that I found the right castle.
She said she hid the key under a rock. Um, princess - that's a mighty big rock. After hours of struggling, I finally got the key out. Phew, that's a lot of hard work!
I let myself into the home of The Princess and her Diaries. WOW - nice digs!
I heard some noises in the kitchen. On the way, I passed some of her art work. Hmm, where is that picture I colored and sent to her? Oh well, I guess this is kind of nice.

What the? Who the? I'm left speechless to this. Alice says she's been working for the princess ever since the other family's kids left home. Damn, lucky princess. We couldn't talk long because she had a lunch date with Sam.
I walked her out to the garage and Alice said that the Princess always lets her take one of the cars while she's away. Well, I guess that's alright. But I told her to fill it up before she brought it back home and if she was filling it up at 7-11, I'd like a Slurpee. That Alice...what a gal.
Before I watered the plants and left the house, I just had to take a peek into her closet. I wanted to see if she really was a "princess". So I opened the doors to her....um...rather modest closet.
Oh, look. I am so jealous. I'm totally going to wear these until she gets back.
Yes, here is my proof. Oh look at them!! I didn't try any of them on since I think she had them arranged by event and size. Ok, ok, maybe I might have tried this one on for a mere 10 seconds. Maybe ten seconds or 10 hours - who's counting? And don't tell her either!!!
So she really is a princess and I'm sorry that I can't write more and show you more of her house. You see, one of her favorites is in the living room right now. I'm, of course, going to have to console him since she's not there. That's what kind of guest blogger I am. Tee hee...I think I'll wear the tiara!

Shortest Marriage EVAH!

I met a man. Strange but true. I met a man who I imagined would look great in a tux with a ring on his finger. And by that I don't mean he would be a great perverted waiter. He was down to earth and approachable. He was easy to talk to. I felt jealous for his future wife. I texted a friend my good news. He was happy for me. He was encouraging me. I was on cloud nine.

But, alas. My happiness was to be short lived. The man of someone else's dreams is not the man of my dreams. He has massive, swimmer like shoulders. And underneath he had the behind of a young asian girl. Tucked into skinny jeans that bagged a little in the butt. And poking out of the bottom of his jeans were shoes suitable for Sideshow Bob.

I fear its just not meant to be. Sadly I filed for mental divorce and went back to my dreary workday.

MOD-ern Ramsey

Ever since I got asked to do one of the guest posts for the lovely PotU I've been wondering how to start it and what to write. Do I do an introduction as to who I am, maybe give an indication of what I normally babble on about, do I change my style & subject matter, or do I just do what I normally do and start typing without any planning and see where my fingers take me.

Then I figured that if I waffled on about that sort of stuff for a bit, nobody would actually notice that I've "started" and I can slip in under the radar without anyone wondering if I'd started or not. Result!

Anyways, I did give this post a bit of a ponder. I thought I'd do something a little new, at least as far as I'm concerned.

The kitchen isn't a room I normally frequent. And I can count the number of food items that I own on one hand. Cheese being the mainstay of my existence, along with pasta. I don't particularly enjoy cooking, especially as it's normally for 1. I also find that after all the hassle of cooking something that by the time it's ready, I'm no longer hungry. So I thought I'd give that baking thing a go. I considered doing something like a proper cake, it was my old dears birthday and it would've made a good surprise. However, knowing that I'd probably get something wrong I decided to downsize a little and went with Flapjacks. Which, when I buy them in the shop (which is VERY rare) they're bloody lovely, and I could share them with the housemates, and because the amount of ingredients that I'd need to use would be minimal there was less room for the Fuck Up Fairy to descend on me.

So, quick check on Google to see what I needed, and off to the supermarket I went.



Ingredients all organised (including the addition of chocolate which wasn't in the recipe...) I set about my masterpiece.


I kind of followed the instructions, insofar as they seemed to say "Chuck it all in and stir", which I duly did. Although, I probably added more butter and syrup than what was written. Hell, it looked alright to me.


Because I couldn't find any small cooking chocolate thingy wotsits, I had to smash the crap out of a giant bar of Dairy Milk and in that went too.


Then it all got put in a glass container thing because I didn't have a metal tray, or any tracing paper. I mean, grease proof paper.

Now, what I was hoping for was some chocolatey gooey crunchy stuff that tasted good. What I got was a crumbly crunchy stuff, with molten chocolate floating on the top, that tasted like it had a little too much butter in, but was distinctly edible. As far as I'm concerned, it was a major success even if it wasn't exactly what I'd hoped for.

I'll tell you what though, this baking lark isn't too bad. Maybe next time I'll try something more adventurous. Maybe one of them cake things that's got squares inside it, that you can see everytime you cut it. You know, Squarey Cake.


(Oh, and the prize of the contents of my left coat pocket to the person that can tell what the title is meant to mean....)

Dear John Black,

What's shakin'? How are things? How's Salem been treating you these days? I'm good, can't really complain. I had a baby a few months ago - I'm sure your gift is in the mail.

Anyways Johnny baby, we need to have a little chat. It's about how disturbing your character has become on Days of our Lives. I mean, let's face it, things have gone a little downhill, especially in recent years.

Back when I was in high school, my girlfriends and I used to sprint home at lunch in order to catch you every day on tv. Of course, Bo wasn't too hard on the eyes either, but this is about you. Hell, in 1994 and 1995 you were named the Hottest Male Star by Soap Opera Digest, so you know you were good.

Back then, though you were quite a bit older than us, you were the "delicious mystery guy." The one we always loved, the one we cried about because we were so glad you and Marlena were together - you make such a good couple! Yeah, you were that kick-ass ISA agent/priest/pilot, with a bit of a renegade streak in you, just enough that we were always on your side, but enough of a bad boy that we always wanted more.

But things have changed John, and it's not pretty. I realize that plots must change, and now you're the quasi bad guy, dealing with the fact that you now know you're really a DiMera. It's rough finding out in your later years that you're not who you thought you were, but those are the breaks.

But what's with the hair as black as fresh tar? I mean, you're 55 years old, even a 10 year old doesn't have hair that black.

And why the extremely slow blinks? Or for that matter, why do you talk so slow now? I realize that sometimes slow blinks are good for conveying the seriousness of a situation, but half the time your eyelids aren't even in sync! The slow blinking paired with the slow speech kind of make you look like you're recovering from some sort of paralysis, and you're not having a good day.

And for some reason you've also grown your hair into a kind of upside down triangle. I'm not entirely sure how that came about, but it looks you got it all styled, then ran yourself head first into a wall. I mean, don't you have people for that? Doesn't NBC give you guys a crew for makeup/wardrobe/hairstyling that will keep you from looking like a tool?

I wish I could tell you that I could overlook all these drastic changes in you - sadly, I can not. I might be able to get past the hair, and I could even get over the fact that you're kind of a bad guy, because now you're filthy stinking rich. But I just can't deal with the fact that your eyes blink independently of each other, like some sort of amphibian.

Sorry John, but this girl is moving on...I'm starting to think Steve Johnson is hot, and the dude is sporting an eye patch.

I used to be your #1 fan,

Ali




*Hi to all you readers of The Princess Diaries! Obviously, this isn't the Princess herself, but she had asked me to come do a guest post for her since her life is in total and complete chaos at the moment. I wasn't entirely sure what to write about, and John has been on my mind lately - lol - so there you go.

Painful and Overwhelming and Rewarding and Wonderful All at Once...

So, I now work in "education." And it's the busy time of year - you know cause schools start in September and all.
I hate to break it to everyone, but September? It's in less than 2 weeks.

So anyhow, I am overwhelmed and stressed etc etc. (See title)

So I am going on a wee bit of a break. I have asked a few lovely people to do some guest posts, cause I thought I could guilt them into it and all.

But if anyone else is willing???

*Insert eyelash flutter here*

I would love love love it. And I'll send you cookies and presents and kisses etc etc. And you know that all the gifts will be wrapped in 10 zillion dollar paper cause that's just how I roll.

Anyhow. I am beginning that next week. So forgive me if you see me less around your blogs and commenting less often. I am working overtime and when I'm home I'm sleeping.

I love you all!

xoxo