Friday, August 29, 2008

Shortest Marriage EVAH!

I met a man. Strange but true. I met a man who I imagined would look great in a tux with a ring on his finger. And by that I don't mean he would be a great perverted waiter. He was down to earth and approachable. He was easy to talk to. I felt jealous for his future wife. I texted a friend my good news. He was happy for me. He was encouraging me. I was on cloud nine.

But, alas. My happiness was to be short lived. The man of someone else's dreams is not the man of my dreams. He has massive, swimmer like shoulders. And underneath he had the behind of a young asian girl. Tucked into skinny jeans that bagged a little in the butt. And poking out of the bottom of his jeans were shoes suitable for Sideshow Bob.

I fear its just not meant to be. Sadly I filed for mental divorce and went back to my dreary workday.


Princess of the Universe said...

Oh I love this!
Phish you have no idea how hard it was for me not to sneak a look at this in my drafts ahead of time!

Anonymous said...

I too went through a recent break up. A very handsome delivery guy at our work. Body of a god, voice like Minnie Mouse. Sigh - I will be staying with my husband :)

James said...

That was so funny I almost cracked a rib.
But nothing six months weight training on those legs would not cure so at least the bottom half would match the shoulders.... and you can buy him new shoes

phishez said...

PotU - you so could have! I wouldn't have minded.

Suze - Damn. From the sounds of it, all will be fine when his nads drop.

James - yeah but I wouldn't be able to see him naked for 6 months without laughing!

SpanishGoth said...

Well I think he should give the Asian girl her bottom back - she'll look awfully weird otherwise....

the princess said...

hahahaha!!!! gotta have back baby.

phishez said...

Goth - Maybe they traded and the tiny Asian girl has a behind like Ryan Phelps.

Princess - yep. Sometimes we need something to hang on to.

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