Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Fishy Men

Now before all my drama and deleting happened, you may remember that I was about to go on a date with Plenty of Fish boy.

And I know that I promised Ali to talk all about it in excruciating detail...
I've seen so many hilarious blind date posts that I was really looking forward to doing one of my own. I wanted to describe all the outrageous hijinks and have you wishing that you could tumble down the rabbit hole that is the princess's world.

But that's not going to happen. I simply cannot make fun of this guy. He was sweet, and effusive with his flattery. He showed up on time. He paid for my drink though it wasn't necessary. He told me stories and asked about my life. I cannot say one bad thing about him.

Now that being said, I want to clarify that I won't be going out with him again. As sweet as it was, there was simply nothing there. No spark, no desire to even casually touch. Nothing. *le sigh* I hope he finds a fabulous girl.

However, this does lead to a whole other topic, which actually is the real point of this post. He phoned me later on that evening and asked how he did. Now I was fine with that, as I would prefer to get the whole "yeah, there won't be a date #2" over with as quickly as possible.

However, what is it with men and performance evaluations? Seriously!

After sex, home-made dinner, massage, anything - "So how was it?"

Now I'm not an idiot. I understand that all people need validation, and may be insecure about their skills. I understand that you want to ensure that the experience was enjoyable for all parties. However, that being said - I have two major complaints with the "how was it?" question.

1. Wait a bit. While you're sitting there glowing/digesting/almost asleep you don't feel like perking up for an immediate review. It takes away from the glowiness. It wakes you up from your massaged up doziness. And if it's right after a first date? Maybe the person is still evaluating. Perhaps they were on the fence, and that question annoys them to the point where they move over to the negative side of that line.

2. Pay attention! Did the person eat the entire meal? Did they relax to the point of sleep in the massage? Were they really involved during sex, or simply orgasm-ing to get it over with?* 90% of communication is non-verbal. You should know how things went without needing verbal confirmation.

I lied- there's a #3. What if it sucked? Why put someone in that awkward position? Let them give feedback in their own way in their own time. Because I have to say, I've lied and given positive feedback after sex before, just because 2 seconds after it was over the guy immediately turned to me and asked how it was. I'm sorry, you're still naked and in my face- what else am I supposed to say other than it was fab?

*I'm aware that women have the rep for faking orgasms. But seriously, I bet if I were to be watching, I would have no problem figuring out who meant it and who didn't.


PinkPiddyPaws said...

ha..ha.ha... the "performance review" I totally don't get it either! And yes, if you are naked and in my face I'm not exactly going to say bad things.. you got that one right sister!

Sorry there was no "spark" but I'm REALLY glad you had a good time, you came back safe and that you got out there in the first place. Congrats!

Anonymous said...

you know your going to have to call me with details on who the "rat" is

Ali said...

Aww, sorry he's not "spark" kind of material, but at least you had a good time anyways :)

I must confess, I don't think I've ever had anyone ask me for a performance review, either in sex or otherwise - but I can imagine how awkward it would be, eeek!

As far as being able to know when a chick was faking? Men are so daft sometimes, they don't want to see the possibility of a fake out...I agree, I would totally know if she was faking.

Karl said...

So you were over on my blog today. Um, how was my post? ;)

Princess of the Universe said...

PPP- thank you! I'm glad someone can appreciate my position!

My Dear Anon - I don't know!!!

Ali- Oh yeah, didn't you just write a post about the woman faking it thing recently?

Karl- you're kind of an asshole.:P

Ali said...

Um, yes :) I had to explain it to my uncle. It was sad. Hehe.

Glamourpuss said...

You know, they do say it takes three dates to really ascertain someone's suitability...

And I can't remember a man asking me how it was - maybe I wasn't paying attention...


Chief Rock Chef said...

Well, it IS nice to be told that you have done something well - I mean if no one says "it was too salty" how can you improve on the recipe?

All Mod Cons said...

Ye gods! I don't think I've EVER asked someone "How was it" after sex! Validation or not, that sort of question takes balls!

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