Thursday, October 16, 2008

I'm too Lazy to Link Everything in this Post...

I've always considered myself the "smart" one. The "responsible" one. The "reliable" one. Sometimes even the "considerate" one.

As of late, I've been reconsidering that.

I mean why couldn't I be the "cute" one or the "fun" one?
I have lots of people tell me how much I make them laugh - so why couldn't I also be the "funny" one too?

But that's not the way I've been leaning. Lately? It's more like I'm the "how-do-I-get-through-life-being-this-flaky??" one.

Exhibit A: My computer chair. Pretty basic - there's a screw/knobby thing on the bottom. Turn that and voila! Chair. Unless you're me- who has it sitting upside down in my living room for weeks until my father comes and puts it together. Like the bookshelf that time last year. Like my washing machine a few months ago. Like my get the idea.
(Please note, this is not laziness - I made many attempts to put these things together/fix them, and came to the conclusion that I'm simply incapable).

Exhibit B: My car. I needed a boy friend to teach my how to pump gas. When I was 23. Until then I only ever went to full service stations. Even now, I can't do anything more complicated than put air in my tires. Even the car wash stresses me out. Lord knows I don't know how to check the oil or change a tire.

Perhaps you're thinking this is because I'm a girl?? Nope, I can crash and burn on both unisex and typically girly things too. And really? Most women I know are more than capable of doing the things listed above.

Exhibit C: Coffee. Just this morning the office assistant showed me how to make coffee. This is not the first time I've needed someone to teach me how to do this. I don't drink it, therefore it's dead to me. Until I get told that if I schedule a meeting, I'm the one that should be providing coffee. Crap.

Exhibit D: Voting. You may have heard that Canada just had an election. My person was kind enough to explain to me the other day what the difference is between a majority and a minority government. Now that I've learned that basic sixth grade information, I can't quite work out why we (the people) would ever want a majority government - but that's a post for another day.

Exhibit E: Local news. Ok, so I did know that there was an election - but really it was hard to miss what with all the phone polls and lawn signs. But I couldn't figure out yesterday why people kept commenting on the newspaper. They were going to save money on that ad they ran. Do we have to pay for the paper? Huh? So apparently one of Winnipeg's major dailies is on strike. Like I care about the news.

Le sigh. How do people keep up with EVERYthing? Making coffee? Politics? Cars?

I used to think I was a relatively intelligent person, but occasionally I wonder if my vast knowledge about Shakespeare, Jane Austen and accessories really counts for that much.
Seriously people - do you just keep me around as flaky comic relief?

Are there classes on just getting through life that I could take??



Princess in Galoshes said...

Lawd lady, this post could be written about me!


What's a minority government?

Laura said...

So. I feel I should tell you a story that happened to me recently.

I have a CD changer in my car where the CD player holds 12 CD's in the trunk and you can control it from the console inside the car. The CD changer "died" about 3 years ago, i.e. quit working. I would press the power button and it would do nothing. I asked my boyfriend at the time about it, and he said he thought maybe there was an electrical short and that I should just take it to a repair shop. I never even looked at it myself.

I also never took it in to a shop, because that requires actual effort. I went 3 years with just radio in my car. Recently I began dating a guy who works in IT, so I thought hey! He can look at my CD changer and maybe fix it.

Turns out that right there on the CD changer is a big huge sticker that reads "if the power fails, hold down the power button for 3 seconds to reset the system."

Worked like a charm. I felt like a big moron for never noticing the sticker.

All Mod Cons said...

A question is only ever easy if you know the answer.

All these things that you mention, if you've never had cause to do them before, how are you supposed to know about them and how they work?

After you've done it (whatever it is) once, then you'll know for the next time. Everytime you call a meeting, are you going to have to have someone show you how to do the coffee? No, because now you know.

Don't give yourself such a hard time, nobody knows everything. We're all good at different things. Whilst I can put up a shelf, I can't accessorize for toffee.

Jen said...

We've all got talentz - some hidden some otherwise. We cannot be good at everything. (I second Mod Cons)

Shana-Marie said...

a-I grew up in a world where one had to learn pretty quickly how to put things together, or my older brothers would destroy, or hide parts.

b - I wouldn't know the first thing about cars if it wasn't for my step father, and even then, I still barely know how to pump gas.

c - I had to teach my former boss how to heat up cold coffee in the microwave. I mean, I actually had to take him by the hand and SHOW him.

d - Majority governments generally mean you have to go to the polls less often, as the 'ruling' party gets what they want done.

e - I don't care about the news/newspapers either.

I still think you're intelligent, but street smarts are a whole different ballgame.

Anonymous said...

Welcome to my life. I still don't know how to pump gas. I grew up in a town where it was a 200$ fine to pump your own gas and now live in a state where it's against the law
I can't make coffee because I don't drink it so why bother
I know basics about the election, I know what I know but otherwise I fake it
I have street smarts, my bro and sister have book smarts, yet I know I am smarter then them in REAL LIFE situations.

Princess of the Universe said...

Galoshes- Uhh OK- a minority is when the party in charge (in our case the Conservatives) doesn't have the majority of seats in the house of commons. Therefore they cannot make unilateral decisions - they need support from the other parties to put it through. (WAY watered down version of an explanation - but that's kind of it)

Laura- that is hilarious, and totally makes me feel better!

AMC- whenever you come here to visit I'm totally accessorizing you up!

Jen - but I WANT to be good at everything.

Shana- yeah, I'm not so good on the streetz. (yo)

Libra- Wow- they take gas pretty seriously down there, don't they??

Backpacker momma said...

I have a nifty little tidbit that I, a 34 year old who has had about 9 different cars, only just discovered. On your dash board, in the same little circle that tells you how much gas you have, there is a picture of a gas pump. Beside that little picture is an arrow. That arrow?? That wonderful little arrow? It tells you what side of the car your tank is on. BRILLIANT!!! And I always just tried my hardest to remember and then do the stretch thing with the pump hose if I got it wrong.

See? We learn things everyday. How boring would it be if we just knew it all already. Lame.

SpanishGoth said...

- Can't be there for you
- can't travel back in time (yet)
- but can give you

*Gothic Hugs*

sequined said...

Do NOT worry. All of us are insecure about certain things we're secretly horrible at. I, for instance, cannot keep track of finances. I can't remember where I put things. I don't know how to check my oil. I'm not aggressive enough about dealing with problems. And I can't drive in the RAIN. So my point is, you're not alone and you have nothing to be ashamed about.

Princess of the Universe said...

BPM- Hmm- I feel a bit better actually- I did know that one! :P

Goth- You have no idea how much I wish you were at least on the same continent as me! xo

Seq- Oh yeah, finances - that should be exhibits F - Q for me. :P

PinkPiddyPaws said...

Nah... there are plenty of "every day life" things that people just don't encounter. My BOSS doesn't know how to make coffee and he's 47 and DRINKS the stuff like it's going out of style. How has that happened??

For each thing you don't know, there is something that you DO know. Like how to find fabulous shoes at amazing prices. :)

Ali said...

Okay okay, so I can put together anything, I used to be a gas jockey, so I can most definitely pump gas or check your oil, I make coffee because I can't get through the day without it, and I know about the newspaper because it's like, you know, my career choice.

But the election? I just looked at Chris and said "I'm voting for the one I think is the hottest." And I did.

And by the way - I will help you with ANY of the above stuff, any time :)

Bon Don said...

"Your Highness" your royal subject (me) has tagged you!

Chief Rock Chef said...

Hah, you finally worked it out!

SpanishGoth said...

Well, actually - I may well have an idea *winks* as a similar thought has crossed my mind on several occassions.....

the princess said...

i just mowed the grass for the firt time 2 years ago, and I have lived in houses! some things i just don't get my head around or I am nervous of. i do try to do alot of things myself before asking someone for help though.

Random Musings Of My Life said...

Ummm I would just like to confess.. This MAY be one of the many reasons I got married... I mean, my car goes MONTHS till the hubby can no longer look at it cause its so dirty and then he details it!!!

I am the same with rest too..

Z said...

uh huh. There is sooooooo much that other people seem to know and/or think is of vital importance that just totally escapes me (and my interest)...

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