I Wish I Blogs Had Existed When I was Doing My Psych Thesis...

So I've been blogging for a little over a year and a half now.
A friend convinced me to do it, and it's been a fabulous journey.
I've learned lessons from it though- some wonderful, some humbling.

Blogging shows you a certain side of humanity. The generous, compassionate and giving side, yes. But it also shows you the mean-spirited mob-mentality.

I've been fortunate to only receive a few nasty comments on here. And people were quick to jump to my defense. But I've seen a lot worse on other more popular* blogs.

I wrote a blog once that was mildly controversial, and Avitable made a comment about "taking umbrage" about what I had written. After I recovered from my awe that I knew someone who knew how to use the word "umbrage" in conversation, I analyzed what it was that I had written. As it turns out, the offending comment was something that I had wavered on including. I wasn't 100% firm in my belief in what I was saying. But it helped to move the post along, so I let it remain.

However, in my back-tracking, after being called-out for writing it - I realized that I didn't like the fact that it sounded like I was backing down. It appeared that I was simply trying to placate my readers, which wasn't the case. So lesson #1: I will never again write anything that I am not 100% willing to stand back and defend in the face of all the backlash. (Or in my case, one polite comment).

My next lesson? Well, if you've been here more than a few months- you've seen it. My Tabula Rasa post when I had to clear out virtually all my archives. I had said some things in my blog that...well they didn't gov over so well, so I essentially had to start afresh. The best advice I received as a result? From Britt: she told me that she writes as if the entire world is reading it. Don't write anything that you wouldn't want people to see.

So these are the lessons I've had to learn. And I think that I truly did need to learn them. But then there are other lessons that I see other people learning.

This goes back to my comment about other bloggers...

I read a post recently by one of my favourite bloggers that was on a fairly sensitive topic. I have no doubt in my mind that she expected backlash based on the content and subject-matter of her blog. I checked her comments throughout the day and saw that she did indeed get a range of responses. For all the "bravas" she received, there were as many "hey wait a minutes." Cool. You have to appreciate a post that generates 100 comments and makes people think.

But then I saw the other stuff. The comments that went deeper than the point of the post. The comments that said she was obviously referring to another blogger with her post. And why wasn't she just open about it? When this writer disagreed with this, the commenter then got personal with her.

Now I've seen this in blogs before. "If you're really objecting to someone else's post, why not just say so?" Are you for real?

How is that better? Are you telling me that you think it's better to say: "Hey, I hated this person's opinion (insert link and name and social insurance number of said blogger) so I'm gonna totally diss them here on my blog." Do people really think that is the moral high ground?

I for one have been inspired by many blogs that I've read, and have written posts as a result of them (uh, kinda like what I'm doing right now). And yes, if I feel that credit is due, and would be appreciated then I will link to them. But if it's a complete disagreement of their opinion, or if it has just gotten me thinking about their topic in a different way, I'm not going to call them out. 1. It's rude. And 2. Why do I have to?

But it's the mob mentality. That and the spark of not so much anonymity, but distance that the internet provides. Would you really get all personal with your friends, to their face about something like this? I would hope that if you took offense to something your friend said or wrote you would discuss it with them in a friendly way. Not get all personal with them in the comments section of their blog. That's not being a friend.

So fine, you don't consider yourselves friends with this blogger. They're just someone you read every once in a while. Again- courtesy. Don't get nasty and personal with them. Express disagreement, yes. But don't call them names. Just because you're staring at a computer screen doesn't excuse you from manners.

I know I'm being all Canadian here- but courtesy. And a little thought and time. Just cause these people are just words on a screen to you, doesn't mean that there isn't a real live person behind the typing.

End rant.


*This is not meant to be a comment about my popularity. I have a plethora of wonderful readers, and I am not complaining at all.

xoxo