Friday, March 27, 2009

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep...

I've been having some weird nights lately.
Not kinky or any kind of fun like that weird, just weird.

Like I'm itchy. Everywhere. I wake up scratching constantly. What the eff? I'm going to wake up one morning and think I killed someone when I find blood all over my hands and sheets cause I've scratched myself raw.

And then there's the weird ass machine thing that my upstairs neighbour has. Now I know he's a strapping single lad, so I'm pretty sure that it's not a life support machine of any kind, but whatever it is, it's annoying. It'll come on at the most random times, and it's loud enough to vibrate my floor. It only goes for less than 10 seconds, but it stops with a weird thumpy sound. The other day it was going on every 10 minutes, then every five, then every three. Was it in labour? Should I run up there and offer to boil some water and practice breathing with it?

And then there's the dreams. Seriously - can I just shut them off please? Do they really serve any purpose? Why can't I have sex with Jensen Ackles dreams? Or eating chocolate cheesecake dreams? No, I have to re-live either the most mundane parts of my day, or have the same conversation with my ex-boss or other ex-people over and over again. For the love of God, I really don't want to have to go to therapy and talk about this.

And for some reason? I can't seem to get comfortable anymore. I don't know how I've managed to sleep for the 33 years prior to this, but now? I can't seem to lay in any way that doesn't make my arm fall asleep (while I'm NOT asleep) or prevent me from breathing. It's really a good thing that I sleep alone, cause the tossing and turning? WAY cliché and irritating.

And then there's the whole white noise issue. I've slept with a fan since I was - well as long as I can remember. With the same fan the whole time. It's old. And it developed a rattle. So I used to sleep with it on the lowest setting. But when the rattle began, I found that going up to the next setting helped. Eventually I was on the coldest setting. Could I buy a new fan? Maybe. But of course I'd rather spend that money on shiny things and just find myself curled up in the foetal position, bundled up under all my blankets when I wake up every morning. Scratching.

Should going to bed really be this much of an adventure?



WendyB said...

Are we the same person? I have all the same problems except for the upstairs guy.

Princess Pointful said...

There is nothing more frustrating than your sleep being disrupted. It feels like such a massive ripoff, as though this should be the one easy part of your day.

Random Musings Of My Life said...

lol... Your getting

Just kidding. The neighbor thing is interesting? Maybe put it to a vote and see what this thing is..

Nat said...

You didn't wash your sheet in something new did you?

I keep hoping Mr. Ackles will make a full frontal performance in my dreams but no such luck.

I do find however that the week before my period, it really doesn't matter what I do, I can't sleep.

Becky said...

Messing with sleep patterns is a yucky road to travel down. Did you switch fabric softeners or anything like that recently? I would LOVE to have Jensen dreams...and if I"m not having them, and you're not having them, then that means some be-yotch is having them...and I will not stand for that!!

Hope you get to settle in for some sleep soon:)

Psychgrad said...

I have pretty sensitive skin. You may want to try washing your laundry is biological detergent. Or, the material may be irritatating your skin.

Jen said...

I was going to write a post on how I've slept like the dead for 37 years until just recently. WTH? Why can I no longer be comfortable? My back wakes me up each and every single effing morning now for the past 8 months. . . and early too. Blehck.

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