Thursday, August 13, 2009

On Suffrage and Representation


Occasionally I get tired of all the things I am "supposed" to do and feel. It gets annoying being an enlightened, independent woman sometimes, ya know?

I am not
supposed to obsess occasionally muse that it might be nice if I weren't single.
I should be STRONG and PROUD and SELF-SUFFICIENT.


Uh huh.
I am.
But I do have a couple of friends who make me feel crappy about occasionally getting frustrated with this situation. It's annoying when you can't just be honest about how you're feeling, because you're scared of looking weak and needy.


I am not
supposed to be content that with my current education and skills, I most likely won't have the opportunity to become much more upper administration than I am now.

I should be AMBITIOUS and MOTIVATED and want to be CHALLENGED .


Uh huh.
But what about having a life? My last job dictated my existence to the point where even when I was out for fun, I was collecting business cards for potential clients, and I had to listen to certain radio stations at different times to monitor them, and I was called non-stop even when I was sick. I want a job. AND a life. I don't want the job to BE my life.

I
should want kids. It's the most important thing that you can do.

Uh huh. It quite possibly is.

Or I can be an awesome "aunt" to everyone else's kids. I can appreciate them as the adorable little demons darlings that they are, and not compare them to my own. I want to be able to sleep-in, and use my money for me. And, as I've mentioned before - I'm pretty sure I'd be mean to any kids I had. We don't need another child on a waiting list for therapy do we?


I
should know how to do home repairs and change my own oil etc. Don't propagate the stereotype.

Uh huh. Yeah, I should learn that.
And I could also very flippantly mention that my hiring of brawny men to do this work for me contributes to the economy. But honestly? I simply am not interested in cars and home reno's and those kinds of things. I'm sure there's a need for people out there who can wrap presents into works of art or plans parties/showers/staggettes for all her friends whenever they need it. And if not, well then it's a good thing that I have a full-time job and contribute to society that way.

Sometimes being female, I feel like I have to
represent.
Like the fact that we've traditionally been opressed by THE MAN means that I am obligated just by virtue of my gender to be an example, a modern-day suffragette.


But the thing is? I don't wanna.
I don't want to have kids. I would like someone to fix that crack in the wall for me. I'm content being mid-level admin. I wouldn't mind being part of a couple.

I don't think this should make me a poor representation of our sex. Because isn't all this feminism battle mostly about choice? About the right for us to choose how we live our lives, and having the freedom to do so?

Well, I've chosen.

15 comments:

Amber said...

Any time you want to talk/vent without feeling the need to censor yourself... feel free to email/call/text!

I totally get what you're saying and it DOES get frustrating feeling like you have to fit into someone else's mold of what they think you should be doing/thinking/etc.

I think you're beautiful, smart, and funny. I also think you know yourself well enough to know what you want/need and that's impressive.

Besides, ultimately... we are the only ones that have to live with our choices at the end of the day. Good or bad.

xoxo

All Mod Cons said...

The people that judge you according to a gender based stereotype are the same people that are living in the dark ages, therefore their opinions do not matter.

You just carry on being great.

*thumbs up*

Karen said...

You hit home with me on Every. Single. Point. Stop reading my mind!!!

cmacc said...

I Love this post. With a captial L. And that comes from a woman who is married with a kid and is the sole putter-together of anything that needs putting together. Everyone is their own woman and they are ALL GOOD.
xoxo

Princess of the Universe said...

Amber- thanks honey- that means a lot to me :) xo

AMC- I love that you just cut through all the crap - you're awesome!

Karen- Maybe I'm all psychic and stuff?

Cmacc- thanks, coming from you that's a great thing to hear! xo

SoMi's Nilsa said...

Who says you SHOULD lead your life in any way other than the way you choose? Whomever they are need to mind their own business.

Seriously! I think there's a very defined line between constantly striving for something more ... and enjoying life as you know it in the here in now. I'm one of those people who has passed over opportunity in favor of enjoying my life just the way it is. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Prunella Jones said...

Blessed are those that no longer give a damn what others think of them for they shall truly know happiness.

Preach it, girl!

minivan soapbox said...

I hate pigeon holes - especially when other women put us there. I think the beauty of being a women is being strong & independent - but also being a needy, whiny bitch all at the same time - and our friends still loving us for it.

Kyla Roma said...

I also agree with Nilsa, I think that a lot of the time people mistake never being satisfied and always looking to make that next move with being successful and driven. There is so much to be said for appreciating what we have, and experiencing that.

I think your vision of your perfect life should be perfectly your own. As I've been looking for a new job I've had many people telling me what I should do. Almost no one has asked me what I would like to do. I think it's that telling but not listening mindset that generates these pressures and ideas, and it's good to notice them, especially as you undermine them here and embrace them there to find out what makes you happy.

Deidre said...

I don't want kids either - and people always seem so shocked. But I say do what you want, girl!

Nat said...

You feel what you feel... you should never feel like you're covering up because of what you should feel...

SpanishGoth said...

My considered Gothic opinion is that you should be happy with yourself. If any stupid womans magazine suggests that you be anything different - tell them to piss off and take their bizarre ideas to someone who cares.

That's just a thought though - but if it helps, tell them that The Goth told you to say it ;-)

Floating Princess said...

I love this post! Why can't society embrace individuality instead of shoving everyone into the same box? Life is too short to be bogged down by conformity.

Rock Chef said...

Sounds pretty damn good to me!

Too many people try to live their lives the way they think they are supposed to, not how they actually want to. This is totally dumb. Each to their own. If someone wants to sink his entire life into a career, fine he is welcome - just don't expect me to follow his lead.

Similarly, people who have kids they don't want just because they think they are supposed to - bad idea, almost as bad as having a baby because you think it will fix a bad marriage!

It's your life, Princess, do what you want with it - run away with the circus if you like! That would be fun, wouldn't it?

Lynda said...

Why do you have to be those things? Be who you want to be!

You don't have to have kids or know what spackle is, as far as I'm concerned.

 
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